I’m probably gonna be dead right after I post this. My name is Herb, I was an intern at Rare during the mid 90s. You remember that game Battletoads, right? Well what if I told you that there was a Battletoads game being made for the N64 that was cancelled. I am the only person alive who has seen and played the game, and I’m about to die, so YOU know the truth.
It was a normal day, I was shooting the shit with some co workers, when I was called in to play test the new Battletoads. I had the choice of the 3 toads Zitz, Rash, and Pimple. I chose Rash, and played through the first level. The game was a normal 3D beat ‘em up, the first level was a green forest, and the game was going good. Level 2 was more of the same, but in a city. Then something odd happened, at the end of the level, Rash went up to a man in a car, and ripped his intestines out, and ate them. The blood looked hyper realistic, and I was disgusted.
The third level is where things get truly horrifying though. Rash is now flying a plane in what looks to be New York City, the level ends when you crash through 2 buildings that look very much like the Twin Towers, keep in mind that this was before 9/11. I was disgusted, and quit my internship immediately. On September 11th 2001 I came to a realization. Battletoads did 9/11, Rare worked with terrorists, and they want me dead before I send this out OH SHIT THEY’VE COME FOR ME OH NO GOD NO!